I CUNT Hear You.

“Any woman who chooses to behave like a full human being should be warned that the armies of the status quo will treat her as something of a dirty joke . . . She will need her sisterhood.”
― Gloria Steinem

I've never been one to just idly stand by while horrible things unravel around me. I usually speak up or try to solve the situation. That's me and it will never change. A few days ago, I witnessed, what I felt were wrongdoings via a friend's Facebook page. I thought, maybe once again, I could talk some sense into these ladies. Truth be told, I thought more highly of my friend, so, her actions, at best were completely shocking. She, as a grown woman, used Facebook as her platform to attack and bully another adult woman. We are all now in our mid-30's. 

Prior to this attack, I just so happened to have had a conversation with my partner concerning women and how vicious they can be to one another. He and I compared the differences of male interactions versus female interactions and I particularly pointed out these two women and how they were with each other as well as a lot of other women in their social circles. My partner and I came to the conclusion that when men fight, they fight and that's it. If it even gets to that point. Nothing more. Nothing less. They get angry and they get over it. They don't drag it out, they don't use social media as their guise for bravery, and they don't act catty. They face what's bothering them and move on.

Needles to say, when I pointed out the error of my friend's ways, she didn't take it well. So much so that her response to me went like this: words, words, words, JUDGY CUNT, then more words. I was taken aback because, up until then, our friendship involved great communication skills. Even when we disagreed, which we did about many things, we still respected each other. We still heard the others side and, most importantly, we never resorted to name calling or insulting one another to get our point across. Until now. Did I think I was over stepping my boundary by speaking up? The thought had crossed my mind but I assumed, since she was using a public forum to express herself; I could use the same forum to respond. 

In retrospect, it definitely was not a safe assumption on my part. After she reacted the way she did, I realized that the best thing for me to do was to eliminate myself from that conversation and her life. At 34, I'm too old to hang onto anyone who can't respect me or other people.

And, just like that, with the click of a button, our friendship and interactions were no more. Click. Move on. Done.

Which brings me to this, when did this type of behavior become acceptable? At what point in our lives did we decide this is how we, from now on, are going to act and treat people. At what time did we all decide that social media would become our backbone? Now, it's not the first time I have been called a cunt and I'm almost certain it won't be the last. This word seems to be everyone's go-to catch phrase to really drive whatever point there is to be made, home. However, I can't recall the last time a grown woman has called me that. I mean, I've been called a bitch, a witch, a feminist, not feminist enough, a whore, a slut, and so on and so forth so I'm used to the ignorance of name calling but that still doesn't mean it doesn't effect me. I'm not trying to give the word power but in this context-it has all the power. 

I write a blog about women for women. It's a collection of stories gathered from women of all different ages and experiences. It's a community that prides itself on creating a space where women thrive and survive. Some of the stories are of loss and struggle while others are about strength and gain. Regardless as to what the story is about, the overall goal is to make women feel empowered, validated, and important. So it pains me when outside those blog walls is a world that is anything but empowering for women.

Of course this "new" display of "I am woman, hear me roar!" has caused me to back up and ask, "When did we become the volatile group of human beings - women - we have become?  Why do we seem to enjoy bashing each other as women, and, even worse, flourish in another's pain? I have to ask myself, as well, at this age, what's truly important and what would I do differently? Surely, my energy is better spent elsewhere. As my nephew would say, "So, Gina, what did you take away from this experience." The answer: take what I learned and use it in the future to help me to be ONLY THE WOMAN I will be proud of in the end. There's a lesson here. For all of us.