“Life isn't a lazy cruise on some endless, calm, and temperate sea. Life is a raging ocean with swells and tidal waves that wreck and sink your boat. Life is a series of storms―overcast skies, fierce winds, and pelting rain. You were meant to be immersed in it all―first to float, then swim, and eventually to walk on water.”
― Richelle E. Goodrich, Smile Anyway
In November, I reclaimed my blog. I have been a blog writer for many years
but in November something changed. My blog was no longer about revealing my own
secrets but it was about sharing what made womanhood so darn amazing. My desire
to become a published writer became more prevalent and my need to share these
stories began its transformation.It was no longer just about me but the people who had a hand at making me the woman I am at the age of 33. Being a woman meant so many things: mother, sister,
aunt, niece, daughter, granddaughter, friend and partner. But those were just titles and
being a woman meant something so much greater, to me anyways. It meant
surviving. It meant fighting, winning and staying strong-even if that led to losing, being weak or doubting the fight in the first place. It was all part of the process and part of the journey. It was all part of my path and I'm happy to share that path with you.
-I realized all
women have this innate ability to overcome just about anything put before us. This is one reason I keep my head held high and why I won’t stop reaching for the
stars. Because as a woman, I cannot be stopped. I'm not saying men can't be stopped but truth be told men have always been encouraged to go and keep going while women throughout centuries have been demanded to stop, quit, do not pass go or return to the beginning. I'm 33 and to me growing old doesn’t mean you’re just getting old, it means you have
experience under your belt. Finally, things make a little more sense and your not so bothered by trying to keep up. You are doing just fine and things will happen as they should. Honestly, you couldn't pay me to go back to my 20's. Well, maybe for a bit but that would be only to recall my wonderful traveling adventures and nothing more. I wouldn't go back to living in my lonely one bedroom apartment or figuring out what it is that I exactly wanted out of life. I wouldn't go back to waiting tables, or the bad break ups or the bad decisions. I wouldn't go back to most of it because if I did then somehow the path that I'm on would be different. It would have changed its course and its outcome and although I could say I might have done some things differently or with better judgement, overall, I am happy now, to be applying all the things I learned to how I want to live.
That's why I feel it's important that my first two contributors represent me and women everywhere. They're mother's, sister's, friend's, travelers, soldiers, warriors, lover's, and wise souls. It's true. Matriarchs have been through it all and you should always listen to your mother because she does know what the hell she is talking about...now I would like to introduce my Godmother and Mother.
Helen (my mother) and Eileen (my Godmother) have a thing or two to say about life, its journey and looking back at age sixty.
Helen:
Gees,
if I could answer this one, I would be a very rich woman. Okay, let me
give this a shot: Always expect (AND PLAN FOR) the unexpected. Live one
day at a time and to the fullest and at the end of a day, make sure you can
look yourself in the mirror and say, "I did my best and am very proud of
this chapter in my life."
My passion is learning - never stop learning
- whether it be through the written or spoken word, through research or through
travel. Every chapter in your life brings with it more to learn. It
keeps life fresh and it keeps you alive and wanting more. Embrace changes.
Life is full of them whether you are ready or not. Never settle.
My biggest regrets: not learning a second language fluently in my
formative years, my wrong choices in partners, my naive trust in MANkind and my
"fairy tale mentality" upbringing, that is, that a woman meets prince
charming, marries him, he takes care of her and they live happily ever after.
Not happening . . . EVER! My greatest achievements: My
daughters and that of motherhood. And, the opportunity to travel
personally to so many places. It shaped me in my later years and has made
me the woman I have become. If my door closes tomorrow, I have been
fulfilled by these two achievements.Live
the life you have been given ---
Eileen:
At 63 I have lived an up and down life – with the early death of a parent, disapproval of a surviving parent, end of a marriage after 15 years, 3 bouts with cancer, a crushed heart, a broken heart, nasty employers, deceitful co-workers and a variety of other charming situations. And more.
I’ve also experienced an
adventure of a marriage, good friends that have come and gone, great
over-powering love, enduring friendships, changing professional opportunities, adventures
with a big old horse, diving the oceans of the world, the freedom of a
motorcycle, great love and always new experiences. And more.
It isn’t that you survive life to
any age, it is that you live it. You learn along the way what works for you. Be
open to change, because it is inevitable. Embrace new situations, people and
opportunities – with some caution based on the past, but with an open heart. There
is no one to blame. You make your own happiness.
There are sayings that have
lasted time – with reason.
Life
is tough.
You
will reap what you sew.
Forgive
and forget (you can’t live in the past, it will keep you down. You can only
learn from it and let it go.)
Don’t
sweat the small stuff.
Live
and learn.
Speak
no evil. Hear no evil. See no evil. -------------and watch your back!
Grow
up! You are responsible for your own life.
Do
unto others as you would have them do unto you.
The longer you live the more you
know about yourself. A variety of experience helps you to plan the direction
you wish to take. And realize the plan will change. No one can live the life
you have and no one really understands you the way you do. Everyone will
experience hardship, loss of loved ones and love. If you allow yourself to
learn from your disappointments you will experience them less.
And plan. I’ve watched others
sink, either financially or emotionally, and never surface. Understand that you
may live for a long time and that without financial means it can be a desperate
situation. Think, learn, save, and invest. If you plan to be on your own then
you can live your version of a comfortable life. If it happens that you share
your life with someone then you can live an even more comfortable life.
Know that this life is over when
you no longer live on earth, and until then anything is possible. Your next
life depends on your current one. Also, your life has an effect on others,
marks them, leads them and helps them find their own. Don’t disappoint yourself
and others will be positively affected. You might even be asked to write a life
lesson!
As Captain Kirk said: I don’t
want to lose/change my past – it has made me the person I am now.
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