un native

"Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed to to try just one more time. "
Thomas Edison


At 34, I'm back at slinging tables. Truth be told, I kinda missed this line of work. I like staying active and being active and the thought of staring at a computer, behind a segregated cubicle, makes my stomach turn. Sure, waiting on people isn't what I want to do for the rest of my life but for now it's paying the bills and giving me a little wiggle room in addition too. All in all, I'm making the best of my situation.

This blog is all about thriving and surviving and sometimes that means not doing exactly what you want to do. Yeah, I'm not thrilled about waiting on people but I don't mind it either. I mean, I wish I was rich and didn't have to worry about money but I want to write books and create things for a living but those require more investment then I have right now so until the money tree pops off in the mountain top called my backyard-serving will have to do.

Before this, I worked in a women's clinic and a women's domestic abuse shelter. Just like I took a long break from serving, I saw myself needing to take a long break from this line of work as well. It's serious business. Some days would be back to back clinic and shelter. Shelter and clinic and back again. It is very true: a job can both be very rewarding and mentally draining at the same time. Another honest point, since we are being so honest-I was over my whole Gainesville existence in general. Maybe I was having an early life crisis? I'm not sure. The only thing I was sure of is by the end of my life there I was ready for my life here. Really ready.

Work is something I do not what I am and so going back to temporarily serve isn't that big of a deal to me. Like I said, I missed the hustle and bustle of it all. I have the freedom to do what I want for the most part and I'm excited about that. I have never been so free or felt so free. I mean, I'm really going after the things I want out of life.

          To get where you're going, you gotta start somewhere.

I still have my stresses and worries. But I know, if I keep going, keep trying-I will come out exactly where I need to. On top of my own happy plot in life. Living has never been so liberating. I have never been so free to explore and create and I have never been so rallied on by such great support systems. I have also never been this curious about life. My partner calls it being whimsical-I call it, being thirsty.

I'm adjusting to mountain life, Colorado, and couplehood quite well. In fact, they all fit like a perfect sweater. In Gainesville...the metaphorical sweater....so to speak was either too small, too big, or just not hipster enough. Or it was being worn by someone else who criticized the sweater to begin with. I'm becoming quite native for being un native....

I know a happy life takes time. I know I will marry the man I am with. I know we will have our own treehouse cabin in the mountains. I know that I will do with my life what I have always said since I was a little girl I would do, and I know that I don't know when it will all take place but I'm getting prepared and ready and accountable and that's exactly what I need to be doing.